Radiant View

Last week, one of my nieces in the Philippines was sharing her thoughts about smoking in her myspace.com account. It was the first time I encountered her blog so I was quite excited to share my experiences about “how to stop smoking.” I also thought it would be a good idea to tell my story here in my own blog. Here is the letter I wrote “L,” my niece.

Hi, L:

I was going through my own myspace.com account when I decided to do a search for some favorite people — like you — and lo and behold! I see you!!! You haven’t been in touch, girl — so reading a little bit about what’s happening in your life from myspace.com feels pretty good.

Do get in touch with me sometime.

As for your intention to stop smoking, that’s great — that’s wonderful. Congratulations!

As for the nicotine-bitchiness that you expect to appear, you’d be surprised to know that it doesn’t have to happen. Your perception is your reality. If you think you’ll be bitchy — guess what? You will be bitchy.

I’ve never chronicled how I stopped my smoking habit after 24 years so maybe it’s time I share some of these tips to you.

1. Sometime in October 2000, I wrote down my goal to stop this smoking habit on March 21, 2001. My meditation guide, Nestor Perez, then gave me some helpful hints to start the process.

2. From one pack a day, using Marlboro Ultra-lights, I tapered down to 1/2 pack a day. By the time February 2001 arrived, I was down to five cigarettes a day.

3. For one month that February, every Sunday, I had a one-hour session with Nestor for a Chi Nei Tsang massage. Do look up this fascinating ancient stomach massage technique at www.chineitsang.org. The purpose was to detoxify my body so I would not have any withdrawal symptoms.

4. My meditation practice also intensified my intention to quit smoking. Nestor asked me to “transform” my bad habit of smoking to a project that was positive and fulfilling. I made a decision to find a role model of compassion who would help me fulfill my highest potential and help a lot of people do the same. I felt that Pope John Paul II was too old, Mother Teresa was dead —- but His Holiness, the Dalai Lama was my personal hero. Thus, I bought a book authored by HH The Dalai Lama that had his nice picture on the cover.

5. That first day of “no smoking” was pretty crucial. No nicotine patches or gum. Cold turkey was the way to go.

I brought my book with me to the office. Every five minutes, I felt like smoking. I told myself, “I will not smoke in the next five minutes.” Then, I would look at the cover of my inspirational book. I would repeat this mantra every five minutes. During my break, I would read a passage from the book — and visualize how my energy could be put to valuable use in helping heal a lot of people who were in the same boat as I was.

After the first 24 hours, Nestor called me up to find out how I was doing. He asked me if I had any headaches. I replied, “Nada.” He was pleased to hear this comment. The chi nei tsang massage must be working, Nestor thought. No withdrawal symptoms. No bitchy behavior. I felt like a “radiant liberatrice.”

6. It was only in September 2001 when I realized that my subconscious mind had accepted my “No smoking” intention. I dreamt that I was 16 years old again. RB Bonifacio (an old acquaintance and family friend) and I were seated, having a conversation. RB was smoking — and in the course of our chat, he offered his cigarette to me. I took the cigarette and looked at the lighted portion intensely. At this point, I was only observing the spirals of smoke coming out of the cigarette. Then, suddenly, His Holiness the Dalai Lama appeared before me. I was so taken aback by his appearance in my dream that I woke up…

I related this incident to some of my dharma friends. A common comment was that it wasn’t only my subconscious mind that had accepted my non-smoking, but that the appearance of a spiritual symbol meant more than the cessation of smoking.

My dear L, after everything that has happened in my purpose-driven life since that March 21, 2001, it is true that my beliefs, especially about spirituality at work, are resonating in leaps and bounds to many people, especially Filipinos abroad who want to be empowered in everything that they say and do.

I cannot tell you what to do, my dear niece.

What I hope for is that you will find your own sense of “being” by truly living up to your highest potential as a human being. You might seek to be different and unique from the rest of us YET you will always be inter-connected to every one of us.

Life isn’t full of angst. I don’t believe in that B.S.

Life, to me, is about adventure. Whether I’m quiet, chatty, or sad, I don’t beat myself up too hard.

I really believe I live a charmed life — and for you, my talented and gifted niece — that is what I hope you believe in.

Remember: Live your life like an experiment!

Always,

Tita Lorna

Filed under: Talk Story (a.k.a. "blog") on January 14th, 2007